My letter to the man I miss the most

How are you? I hope you’re doing fine. I know you’re in a happy place now.Although I miss you a bunch, I don’t wanna be selfish and keep you from being happy and pain-free. But I don’t deny that I am still not sure if I have fully accepted that you already left us. 

I have a lot of stories for you. First, I landed a new job. And my bosses are so nice, same as my officemates and our work environment. I know you won’t agree with this if you’re still here, because you’ll see me working until the wee hours of the night, but like what I always tell you, that’s part of my job. Don’t you worry, mama and mommy is taking care of me,as well as Toti. Working makes me miss you more, because I know you’re my number one fan, my number one listener. I miss our chit chats updating each other about our day. To be honest, I am still waiting/expecting you every night, coming down the stairs around 10pm and 2am,to have your snack, and you’ll also prepare some for me. Now,it’s just me, I still do our coffee breaks at night. Next story is, I am now a regular employee! Yes! after 3 months, I finally got the job officially. I wish you’re here to celebrate it with us. Like what I promised you before, we’ll eat at different places and search for the best foods out there. I’m still fulfilling that promise,this time its with the family. I know you’re here with us so I’ll eat for you instead (*wink*) Next news is, I already enlisted myself for the board exams review. It will start this July, and our exam is on October. Please pray for me. I know I don’t have to ask it from you,because I know you always do. I wish and I will try my best to have that dream of yours come true. (Remember your dream,about me taking the exam?) Hope that it will turn out as your dream :) 

Haay„„ I miss you so much. I know its been months but it feels like it was just yesterday. I am still hoping that one day you’ll be home, and that you’re just in a vacation somewhere far. You’ll arrive with a bunch of pasalubong then we’ll make some leche flans, avocado salad, halayang ube and then we’ll watch Face to Face together. 

You not being here just makes everything incomplete. I feel so incomplete. I wish you were still here. I’m just starting my career. My turn of giving you gifts and treating you wherever you want just started. But how am I supposed to do that if you’re not here with us? Indeed, life is unfair. But if it being unfair will bring you eternal peace and have spared you from suffering much pain, then let it be. But it won’t change the fact that I love you and I am missing you more and more each day.

Maybe this would help, me writing to you or me talking to you. So expect to hear from me again. Again, I love you, I miss you. 

Love always,

Your grand daughter